Pulled Away

Kazakhstan! Look, I even learned how to spell it. But I might not be going there. Here's the story.... I found out my placement last Monday while I was on spring break. I was raking leaves in Altanta when my mom called to tell me I was going to "K - a- z- a ..." She spelled it out instead of saying it. I was estatic. First, it was definitely central Asia. Second, I knew nothing about the place. Third, I was doing NGO development work. I immediately called some friends between my piles of leaves. But I was nervous to tell everyone. I wanted that packet in my hand personally before I told the world. I didn't want to mess it up. Maybe I had misheard what my mom had said. I don't know. I was going to wait.

So the packet finally came yesterday (Monday). It was in my hands. It was official. It was wonderful. Like any eager volunteer, I rushed to read all of the documents. And then in my handbook, I got to the section on legal status. "Have you been arrested for, charged or cited with, or convicted of any offense by a civilian or military court or tribunal?" Why yes, I have. I received a ticket for railroad trespassing in January and I went to court two weeks ago. I received a $150 fine and six months supervision. Supervision just means if I don't do anything wrong in six months, this goes off my record. It does not show up. So I'm not too worried, since this is not alcohol/drug related or something dealing with honesty. But it then my Peace Corps dreams come crashing down. He hints that this supervision is considered probation by the PC. I have to send him a narrative of what happened and my court documents. That was yesterday afternoon. I didn't hear anything back from him. Then when I wake up at 7:30 this morning, there is a legal hold on my file.

I can think of three possible scenarios, but honestly, I won't even outline them, because they are three possible scenarios and only one of them is correct. I have this bad habit of imagining how things will turn out before they do, even when I can't change them. Its not like I'm planning for three outcomes that are equally possible. In reality, there is one possible scenario. And planning for various ones only fuels my anxiety. So now I'm just waiting for the return phone call this morning.